I love how many clues there are to figuring out the player's relationship with Mira, once I realized that he kept forgetting things and Mira's husband is, not was, a painter I figures out that she was his wife. I also assume that the sketch she points to is the exact sketch that was the player's first gift to her. I really liked the build-up and payoff, really well done.
Very effectively written with good pacing and a very deliberate reveal of the key details. I enjoyed the way that you focused on portraying small moments in the studio. There were a couple of details that stood out in awkward ways. One was related to a repeated phrase:
You decide to… The knocking returns. Now you…
This seems like it might be an issue with the underlying logic. There was also another moment where we make a critical choice which I don't think needs to be pointed out: "You may respond (choices lead to different endings)". It feels unnecessary to point this out. Otherwise, I though this turned out really well!
We're an artist who struggles with memory retention. Perhaps the character has Alzheimer's? I achieved the ending, where the character realizes that his client was actually his wife, and tries to leave behind reminders to remember who she is. In the beginning, I was a little confused by how I could re-click each of the options. When I clicked them, I expected them to disappear, and when the didn't, I chose to click them again, to see if anything would change. Though, nothing updated. After knowing the context of the story, I think it is fitting in a way, as it would seem as though the character had just forgotten what task he has completed. Out of all of the options in the beginning, I think the one where he checks the appointment time should update after he's written down the Mira's appointment time. Other than that, I really enjoy the bittersweetness of your narrative and each character feels very human. I think I started to realized that Mira was someone more than just a client, when he gazed at the photograph and felt that the person on it was significant. Great story!
i love the slow reveal of what we've forgotten, the build up is really well done. after the woman had left and we look at all of the foundational sketches, i guessed that we might be her husband, and i think it's really good to leave that implied--but we know she comes back to do this every day. really beautiful story!
oh, that was so sad. i got the end where mira says she will introduce a new client tomorrow and the pov character writes down the same text that was at the start of the game. this is such a good story, i want to replay it and try to get a better ending.
The concept for this story is so beautiful! I think the buildup is very well done - we start out forgetting little things like the jam for our toast, but by the end we realize that we've forgotten so much more than that. It would have been nice if, during the consultation with Mira, the choice options disappeared after you picked them once. I ended up accidentally picking the same one twice a few times, haha. I got an ending where I remembered who Mira was, and wrote a note to myself so I wouldn't forget her again tomorrow.
I Got the "Deja Vu" ending, I think you do a really good job leaving out information while giving the player enough to understand what's happening, based only on our memory loss and Mira's sadness I think it comes across that we are her husband, and have forgotten who she is despite drawing her every day.
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I love how many clues there are to figuring out the player's relationship with Mira, once I realized that he kept forgetting things and Mira's husband is, not was, a painter I figures out that she was his wife. I also assume that the sketch she points to is the exact sketch that was the player's first gift to her. I really liked the build-up and payoff, really well done.
Very effectively written with good pacing and a very deliberate reveal of the key details. I enjoyed the way that you focused on portraying small moments in the studio. There were a couple of details that stood out in awkward ways. One was related to a repeated phrase:
You decide to…
The knocking returns.
Now you…
This seems like it might be an issue with the underlying logic. There was also another moment where we make a critical choice which I don't think needs to be pointed out: "You may respond (choices lead to different endings)". It feels unnecessary to point this out. Otherwise, I though this turned out really well!
We're an artist who struggles with memory retention. Perhaps the character has Alzheimer's? I achieved the ending, where the character realizes that his client was actually his wife, and tries to leave behind reminders to remember who she is. In the beginning, I was a little confused by how I could re-click each of the options. When I clicked them, I expected them to disappear, and when the didn't, I chose to click them again, to see if anything would change. Though, nothing updated. After knowing the context of the story, I think it is fitting in a way, as it would seem as though the character had just forgotten what task he has completed. Out of all of the options in the beginning, I think the one where he checks the appointment time should update after he's written down the Mira's appointment time. Other than that, I really enjoy the bittersweetness of your narrative and each character feels very human. I think I started to realized that Mira was someone more than just a client, when he gazed at the photograph and felt that the person on it was significant. Great story!
i love the slow reveal of what we've forgotten, the build up is really well done. after the woman had left and we look at all of the foundational sketches, i guessed that we might be her husband, and i think it's really good to leave that implied--but we know she comes back to do this every day. really beautiful story!
oh, that was so sad. i got the end where mira says she will introduce a new client tomorrow and the pov character writes down the same text that was at the start of the game. this is such a good story, i want to replay it and try to get a better ending.
The concept for this story is so beautiful! I think the buildup is very well done - we start out forgetting little things like the jam for our toast, but by the end we realize that we've forgotten so much more than that. It would have been nice if, during the consultation with Mira, the choice options disappeared after you picked them once. I ended up accidentally picking the same one twice a few times, haha. I got an ending where I remembered who Mira was, and wrote a note to myself so I wouldn't forget her again tomorrow.
I Got the "Deja Vu" ending, I think you do a really good job leaving out information while giving the player enough to understand what's happening, based only on our memory loss and Mira's sadness I think it comes across that we are her husband, and have forgotten who she is despite drawing her every day.